Happy anniversary to us

Sixteen years ago today, I took a risk that seemed huge at the time. I was crazy about Sandy, but didn't think I was in her league. Best chance I ever took. Many couples I knew started out assuming they'd be together for a long time, viewing each other through rose-colored glasses. We started differently, inviting each other to do things with comments like, "If we're still together this weekend, we should try that new restaurant."

We were each fiercely independent, and warned each other of our inability to form lasting relationships. She told me her recent relationship had lasted "only three years." I laughed and told her I'd never been with anyone for more than a few months, so I really wasn't the one who needed to worry.

With each month, our love and commitment grew deeper, even through the bumpy adjustment period that occurred after she moved in a few years into the relationship. Even through cancer and unemployment, my starting a business, family crises, her grad school adventures and misadventures, home improvement projects, open-heart surgery, cats dying, four-week-old cats coming into our lives unexpectedly. Always, both our love and our commitment to each other grew. The last time I remember even having the passing thought that we could break up was in 2000.

Ten years ago, we went to Mt. Rainier for our anniversary
weekend. Traipsing around away from anyone else, we
took a few pictures of ourselves — the unfortunate kind that
emphasizes multiple chins (and flat hair from wearing hoods).
That was a great weekend.

Even with her having terminal cancer, we were sure we'd celebrate our 16th anniversary together. I've been fragile all week in anticipation of this day. But I woke in a good mood this morning, having had long periods of uninterrupted sleep last night for the first time in many months. It helped, too, to have the day off after a couple of weeks of tight work deadlines (including working all day last Sunday). I'd left my schedule for the day completely flexible, so that I could follow my whims to honor our relationship and my love for Sandy however it felt right.

I spent much of the day finding photos of us together over the years, and then buying picture frames at Value Village. I've framed several, and I'll print more out tomorrow, buy more frames at other thrift shops. I'm well on my way to filling the wall above our dresser with pictures of us through the years — each picture a vibrant gateway, enabling me to inhabit again a moment we shared fully. It's been a good day.

Though we don't get to add to the tally of our time together anymore, today remains the 16th anniversary of our coming together to form a partnership that we both cherished. And that's worthy of celebration.