Tax relief

Every time I have to tell someone Sandy has died, or have to write "Deceased" on some form or other, I feel like I'm cutting her off from the world she knew. These occasions spring up with disturbing frequency, and often unexpectedly. For example, we participated in a Lake Washington transportation study; the first part was in fall of 2010 and the second part was to be this spring. I'd completely forgotten about it, of course, but I'm happy to fill out the travel diary and provide whatever information might be useful. In updating the household profile, though, I had to remove Sandy's name. Not even mark her as deceased, but remove her altogether. That shook me.

So, knowing how difficult these tasks are, I'd been dreading tax returns. I don't mind filling out the forms, and I always did Sandy's taxes for her, anyway, so that wasn't a burden. But I knew I'd have to note that it was her final return, that she was deceased, that she was gone. It's not like she had a particularly sentimental relationship with the IRS. Though she was happy to pay taxes and contribute to the common good, this was not one of the ties she'd be distraught over severing. Still, the finality of it bothered me.

I'm glad she was alive to spend her tax refund last year. The
pain had started but wasn't as bad yet, and we had much
fun playing on the beach. A sand dollar from that trip
lies on the dresser, next to her ashes.

I finally sat down to do our taxes this weekend. I spent about twenty minutes researching exactly what I needed to write on her form, how I needed to identify myself with my signature, how to cross the t's and dot the i's. Got it all figured out, and only then realized that I didn't need to file a form at all. Her 2011 income was only $12,000 in Social Security Disability benefits, which are exempt from income taxes if you have no other source of income. No form = no words of finality, no need to write that she's deceased, no need to sign for her.

I had no idea how much the thought of writing those words had been weighing on me until the need was gone. I was positively giddy, and happily dove into the minutiae of my own return. And once again, I was glad that I'd decided not to obey the income-splitting mandate, which would have been incredibly complicated and would have required me to file for Sandy. It's much simpler this way; the government almost certainly gets more money from us; and we aren't subjected to the disrespectful way the whole thing has been handled. If the IRS questions it, well, I'm happy to be a test case for an ill-conceived and discriminatory implementation — and Sandy would be, too.